What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

Give up?

One less drunk!

The graveside service had just ended when there came a clap of thunder, followed by lightning and more thunder.
The old man looked at the preacher and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.”

Thanks to The American Legion Magazine — July 2011

Police seeking a man accused of breaking into an elementary school say they identified the suspect by calling “Ma” from the contact list of a cell phone he dropped.

Officers responded to an alarm at an elementary school in Athens, Georgia.  They arrived in time to see a man running through the cafeteria and out the back door.

Police failed to catch the man, but say he dropped his cell phone as he ran.

The officers picked up the phone, searched the contact list and called a number marked “Ma”.

They say the woman who answered the phone gave them her son’s name.

Case closed!